Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
