Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he laminated a picture of his dick.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
