I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
