Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My ATM looks so different sober.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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