Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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