Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
