So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
