Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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