never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
