I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
