Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
