normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
MIDGETS
????
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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