If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
