I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
