Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
