please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
