i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
