I feel like abortions should bother me more
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize