So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
