he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
