Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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