i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
