glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Found your dick twin last night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize