i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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