Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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