lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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