I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
