I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
