And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
