seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
