btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
