just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
