And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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