Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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