I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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