My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
