i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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