Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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