Duck Duck Cougar?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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