so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
