I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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