I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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