the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
