I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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