I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
