How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
