...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
