Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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