my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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