the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
